Kari Kampakis
If you’ve parented long enough, then you’ve learned firsthand why your personal wellness matters.
You’ve felt the pain (or consequences) of devaluing yourself. Whether your wake-up call came from a diagnosis, a breakdown, an issue with your child or spouse, heightened anxiety, or simply feeling depleted, joyless or numb, it most likely unveiled this truth: Mothers are humans, too. We require love, compassion, rest and renewal.
Taking care of our needs strengthens us and equips us for the road ahead.
In my rookie days as a mom, I ignored the advice on self-care. Honestly, I thought it sounded self-indulgent, like an excuse to take bubble baths and visit the spa, and I didn’t feel like I needed it. I assumed my early exuberance and adrenaline would always exist, and I started my journey as a “Giver” ready to crush my parenting goals. Little did I know, there would be days that crushed me.
Fast forward 20 years, and I know better. I am older and wiser, and I feel the wear-and-tear of engaging in a lifelong marathon. My body suddenly dictates what I can and can’t do. Only now do I get the analogy about mothers putting on their oxygen mask first to take care of their family. How can we help anyone if we get knocked out? What good are we to those we love if we end up on the stretcher?
Your role as a mother is monumentally important — but you are more than just a mom. You are more than a wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague or CEO. Above all, you are a child of God. You have inherent worth and dignity, infinite value as a human being.
It is easy to lose yourself (and your footing) in motherhood. It is tempting to postpone your wellness until you have more time. But the fact is, demands on your time will always exist, and as you lose the generation that raised you, you must learn to mother yourself … or pay the price later.
You can only take your children as far as you’ve come, and raising healthy kids begins with them seeing a healthy mom. If you’re not in a healthy place (or working to get there) then failure on your part is more likely. You’ll struggle to find the strength, stamina, patience and presence you need to be a healthy “Giver.”
With this in mind, I wrote a new book. It’s for moms of all ages and stages of life. Called “More Than A Mom: How Prioritizing Your Wellness Helps You (and Your Family) Thrive.”
It is a practical, approachable and attainable framework to stay on a healthy path by unleashing God’s power in your life. It gives you permission to better yourself — and model the example your children need.
One day, your children will be the adults dismissing warnings about self-care. They may assume they are fine until they reach the end of themselves, when an injury, crisis, heartache or breaking point brings them to their knees.
In these moments, they’ll understand why their health matters. They’ll recall the steps you took to stay well for your family. They’ll remember how you weren’t ashamed to admit what needed work or attention.
Motherhood is deeply rewarding, but most moms are underappreciated. It may take years (or decades) for your children to see you through a mature lens, and in the meantime, you need mom friends. You need uplifting voices in the trenches. So gather your most trusted friends to study this book with you. Plan a girls’ trip to kick off the conversation, or gift this book to your favorite tribe as encouragement on Mother’s Day.
Even if your children are your greatest game-changer, you are more than just their mom. You have a place in this world beyond serving them. Your secret weapon as they grow up, the way you parent them from a distance, is through your influence. Believe it or not, some of your best parenting will come through the example you set and the determination you model as you value yourself and your life.
Your greatest life purpose — even greater than motherhood — is to know, love and serve God. As you journey toward genuine wellness, you also journey toward Him. You become a light and a good steward of the gifts He gives you. Now, join me on this journey to wellness that will expand your faith, your relationship and your perspective of yourself.
Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Mountain Brook mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Her new book for moms, “More Than A Mom: How Prioritizing Your Wellness Helps You (and Your Family) Thrive,” is now available on Amazon, Audible and everywhere books are sold. Kari is also the author of “Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection With Your Teenage Daughter,”and two books for teen and tween girls — “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” — that have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis.com, or find her on the Girl Mom Podcast.
