Grateful for culture of acceptance

Each fall at Pizitz Middle School, the Special Olympics give special needs children the opportunity to compete in various sports with the support of their peers.

 For Laura Davis, mom to 11-year-old Grace, it’s her favorite day of the year. 

“Every child in the school cheers for our kids while they parade down the halls,” she said. “It is so loud. It is awesome.”

A number of events marking Down Syndrome Awareness Month took place in October, all with strong support from a substantial network of local families intimately familiar with the condition. 

For Tracy Thornton, mom to 15-month-old Chambers, that support means everything.

“It is a true testament to the community we are in,” said Thornton, a former fifth grade teacher at Vestavia Hills Elementary Central. “[Chambers] has so many kids around here who are rooting for her and protecting her.”

The culture of acceptance didn’t happen by accident. Several local programs have been key to transforming lives of local families with special needs children.

East Elementary’s Bell Runners for the Bell Center helps children understand and learn how to interact with their special needs classmates. In addition to monthly donations, its most recent efforts resulted in a bake sale that grossed nearly $1,000. 

At Vestavia Hills United Methodist, Kelly Rainer helped launch a local branch of Down Syndrome of Alabama — The Learning Program, which educates parents on teaching their children with Down syndrome. The Vestavia Pilot has already enrolled five families, all of whom either have or will soon have special needs children in Vestavia City Schools.

These moments are a relief for the families whose journeys are punctuated by equal parts joy and uncertainty.

“We were pre-diagnosed with Chambers at 16 weeks through blood tests and later confirmation through an amnio,” said Thornton. “We found out on Feb. 9, 2012  — Mercedes Marathon Weekend, a huge fundraiser for the Bell Center, which I just so happened to be the chairperson of that year. So, to say that it was an emotional weekend and a perfect weekend is just putting it mildly.”

Vestavia residents Chris and Laura Davis had been married three years and were living in Columbus, Ohio for Chris’ ENT residency when they received the news their baby girl had Down syndrome.

“I was 27, and my first thought was, ‘I am not 35.’ It was a very emotional day. We had to face the unknown, and that was the scariest part — not knowing if she would talk, read, have friends, marry and so forth.”

Early on, while Davis was still processing her emotions, she received a fateful phone call from a prominent local figure.

“Coach Gene Stallings (whose son, John Mark, has Down syndrome) called me on my first Mother’s Day after Grace was born. He said, ‘What is the one thing you want for Grace? It is to go to heaven, right?’  I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Well, she already has a one-way ticket there.’ 

Davis sees Grace as the light of her family; however, she is clear not to confuse that love with lax rules or coddling. She draws a firm line between “special needs” and “special treatment.” 

“Our kids are smart, and they figure out real quickly how to manipulate the situation,” Davis said. “Grace is treated exactly the same as her brothers. She gets in trouble just like they do. It has helped her in so many ways.”  

Thornton agrees. From discipline to safety, ambition to interpersonal relationships and everything in between, the concerns of a parent of a child with special needs aren’t that different from parenting a typical child. 

“When I was still pregnant with Chambers, I was going through all the emotions any mama feels when they find out that their ‘perfect’ baby is somewhat not,” Thornton said. “I realized that with any child you have worries  — there are no guarantees.”

Davis sets realistic goals for Grace and thinks she would do her daughter a disservice by settling for less. 

“We have a dream that she will one day go to college, live with a roommate somewhere, and maybe even get married,” Davis said. “She has succeeded every scary thought I had so far.”