Back to life

As they sat with their 16-month-old son in the cancer unit at Children’s of Alabama, Andy and Jan Thrower thought it was strange that nurses kept pushing them to meet other families in the unit.

“I’m sitting here focusing on my child and I didn’t realize at that time there’s such a community with the parents that have a child with cancer,” Jan said. “There’s really nobody else that really understands what you’ve gone through. And so I think there’s kind of a bond even though you may not know them, you know what they’ve experienced.”

Their journey to Children’s started on Christmas Eve 2008, when Anderson developed a limp two weeks after a healthy 16-month checkup. By New Year’s, his stomach was distended and he could not climb into a chair. A doctor diagnosed Anderson with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

With Anderson undergoing treatment for leukemia, the Throwers built friendships with other families in the unit. They also partnered with a local bank to buy computers for every cancer patient room. It was the precursor to aTeam Ministries, which they founded in December 2009 to help other families cope with pediatric cancer.

“Initially, you’re overwhelmed. What we’ve found as a ministry is the first six weeks, the first nine weeks, you’re really just getting your bearings on what they’re telling you about your child. You don’t really think about other things,” Andy said.

Six years later, aTeam has grown into a nonprofit providing emotional, spiritual and financial support for dozens of families. Their help ranges from something small, like a personal care bag or family tickets to a football game, to financial grants or a temporary apartment while a child is undergoing treatment. In July they had their sixth annual Champions of Chemo lake party, celebrating children who have completed treatment, and in August they held a “Bold 4 Gold” rally as an early kickoff to September’s Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month.

Andy said aTeam is often able to provide support when a patient’s extended family cannot.

“A lot of times, we have found that families have a large support system in the first nine to 12 weeks, but there becomes a period of time when that support system fades,” Andy said. “They have to get back to life, too. That’s where we feel our ministry tries to step in.”

After watching their daughter Avery handle her younger brother’s diagnosis and treatment, the Throwers also make sure that aTeam takes care of siblings, too.

“It’s important to also try to remember that siblings are just as much impacted, or more, than the actual patient. They may not get chemotherapy, they may not get the medicine that’s prescribed, but they’re at the appointment, they’re at the hospital. They’re sacrificing a lot, too,” Andy said.

Anderson entered remission and stopped treatment in 2012, when he was five years old. He doesn’t remember much about the experience, though he recalls being scared of “going to the lab and getting poked.” After three years of life revolving around hospital visits and blood tests, it was difficult for the Throwers to relate to other parents they knew.

“It’s not their fault, it’s not our fault, it’s nobody’s fault,” Andy said. “But there’s a difference there and sometimes plugging back in — you’ve been separated, you’ve been in isolation to some degree for a period of time — it’s somewhat hard and when you do plug back in, there’s a difference.”

Now, the Throwers agree that they mostly do “have the normalcy back.” Anderson is a student at Vestavia Hills Elementary West and enjoys baseball and swimming. He goes to the doctor every six months for checkups, but his chances of a relapse shrink with every year. He also isn’t showing long-term side effects.

“Other than meanness,” joked Avery, now a student at Vestavia Hills Elementary Central.

At a recent career day, Avery said she wanted to work for aTeam when she grows up. It’s a big part of the Throwers’ lives even now, as Andy and Jan want to use their own experience to make other families’ paths easier. They also know they’re lucky to have a life that returned to normal.

“We’re thankful and just enjoy the day a little bit more than most people because there’s a different perspective on the day,” Andy said.