Life Actually By Kari Kampakis: Moms: Your purpose is bigger than motherhood

My friend Brooke thought she was taking her child to a routine 2-year-old checkup.

But when the blood work looked abnormal, the doctor ordered follow-up tests. From there a nightmare unfolded as Brooke and her husband learned that their vivacious little girl had been diagnosed with childhood cancer.

They were devastated, and while their daughter now thrives as a teenager and has been in remission for years, it was a frightening time of uncertainty. Nobody knew what the future held.

Brooke, a self-proclaimed introvert, shies away from attention. She enjoys her comfort zone of nesting at home. But as thousands of people followed her on caringbridge.org, Brooke received invitations to share her story in person. She always said yes even though she hates public speaking and would get so nervous beforehand that she wouldn’t eat for days.

“I’m so grateful for what God has done for us,” she told me, “I want to do something in return for Him.”

Her courage intrigued me, and when I told my dad about it, he said, “An introvert can become an extrovert when they do something for God.”

Wow. What truth. Little did I know, I’d need this truth myself years later when my book was released, and I got invited to speak. As I questioned these opportunities since public speaking made me nervous, my dad told me, “When you’re nervous, you’re thinking too much about yourself. Focus instead on your audience. Think about the people you’re trying to help and the message you came to share.”

His words hit home. And like my friend Brooke, I discovered the secret to being brave is to forget about yourself and focus on helping others. As that happens, you walk into your purpose.

Too often in life, we aimlessly drift. Even if we embrace our purpose as moms, we mistakenly believe our purpose is over once our kids leave home. The truth, however, is that your purpose continues until your last breath on earth.

Your purpose is bigger than your calling as a mom.

Pastor Rick Warren wrote a life-changing book on this subject. His opening line — “It’s not about you” — makes it clear that we exist for God’s purposes.

“The Purpose Driven Life” is one of the bestselling books of all times (over 35 million copies sold), and it explains how every human being is uniquely created and gifted to serve their generation. There may be accidental pregnancies, but there are no accidental babies. God does not make mistakes.

Warren writes: “You cannot arrive at your life’s purpose by starting with a focus on yourself. You must begin with God, your Creator. You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God and for God — and until you understand that, life will never make sense. It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance and our destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end.”

Throughout your life, God will call you outside your comfort zone. He’ll give you assignments outside your wheelhouse and dreams without all the answers. He’ll force you to step up and be brave.

Before you dismiss His nudges, ask yourself, “Do I not want to do this because I’m scared — or because it feels wrong?” If you're hesitating due to fear, pray for help. Ask God for the grace to do His will and remember the reason we accept His assignments is in response to His perfect love. Our work returns to Him what He's already given to us.

Motherhood is important — but you're more than just a mom. Your purpose doesn't end just because your kids grow up. If anything, having extra time and motherly wisdom allows you to better serve others. It gives you a hidden advantage, the insight of a mother’s heart, to make this world a better place.

Your life is God’s gift to you – and what you do with your life is your gift back to Him. Be open and ready to respond. Stay faithful in small assignments that prepare you for the bigger ones. Even when you feel unqualified, He will equip you. He'll challenge you, stretch you and force you to leave your comfort zone, all the while using you to write a bigger story that points other people to Him.

Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Birmingham area mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Her new book for moms, “Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection With Your Teenage Daughter,” is now available on Amazon. Audible and everywhere books are sold. Kari’s two books for teen & tween girls — “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” — have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis.com, or find her on the Girl Mom Podcast.